Going

It is time to end this.

In its present form in its current manifestation. Mitchellsfotosucks is no more. It ends here.

It is the 50th issue. It has afforded its creator no little amusement. One hopes the reader is at very least still there.

The first piece, and the name derived from the attempt to move Walmley Cricket Club amid – it seems a very long time ago. Gordon was in his pomp then, we had visions of a modest victory in a snap election banishing Cameron to a footnote in the history of the noughties.

If only.

Its not so brilliant now. Although Mitchell continues to flatter to deceive. Continues to flatter anyway. Gordon is undeniably limping and the economy is stampeding south. Certainly not a lot to celebrate.

Yet….

Dr Pocock is unfazed. We are marching into the autumn ready to assault the senses of the good burghers of the fair town with our views on Town Centre Renovation, not to mention Parking, Rubbish and Railways. ~Before we get to dangerours road junctions.

And Birmingham council excelled themselves featuring the green credentials of Birmingham Alabama. Six hundred thousand times.

So there is hope.

But any small victories here are going to require a measure of application. Perhaps fripperies such as regular blogs are not to be compared with pounding sodden streets or hitting the keys to reveal our sorely tried supporters currently in hiding somewhere in Sutton.

So, for the present. Its goodbye.

But.

Be very afraid. And stay tuned.

There may in time be a resurrection.

.


Nightwatchman

Believe it or not

One’s thoughts, rather reluctantly begin to turn to what the Tories might get up to should they get into government.

And coincidentally, local MP might possess key to unlock the secret.

He appeared in three local stories this week in the Sutton News. Regular readers will understand that Sutton News is by no means a regular critic of local MP but hey! They need the copy and he needs to be seen there.

So the three stories, if I may were….MP joins with local citizens in protesting about a private company called the Post Office closing five local post offices (Photo Op). MP meets local representative for Cool2Care and commends the service they offer (Photo Op). MP meets the functionary at the Minworth Sewage Works and discusses the smell. (Photo Op)

All, you might say, all in a local MPs day. (It probably was.)

So let’s take the first one. Post Offices used to be a nationalised industry. They had responsibility for a service to every home in Britain, they ran the shops and they employed the postmen.

The Tory Party privatised this institution, sold it through the City of London, made a few bob and now have the colossal gall to criticise the government for not helping out this private company to enable it to keep some shops open.

There is no evidence of any embarrassment on the photo.

Cool2Care is an extremely interesting organisation. It does focus on the huge gap in government funding for disabled young people. Cool2Care is a ‘for-profit matchmaker agency that links families of disabled kids with affordable care workers.’
So we shall observe Cool2Care from a short distance. This is an interesting innovation – the marriage of need and profit need not be wrong or disastrous but local MP was not for getting into these waters. Trite phrase, shake of the hand and on to the next.

Which was the smell. Classic arms length non involvement this one. Actually not much he could do. But photo shot not doing much very noisily is a lot better than no photo shot at all. And that’s what we got. Smell may or may not go away. MP will, for a while.

So – does this add up to an exciting promo for slick new government of all the privately educated, by the privately educated, for the privately educated.

'(What about the rest of us?)'

'Don’t you mean rest of you?'

It adds up to a clever shimmy from arch privatiser running with the hare to concerned Tribune of the People chasing with the hounds.

It adds up to a ringing endorsement of a business punt on a very neglected section of the public.

And it adds up to a smelly investigation down Minworth way.


They never change their spots.


Nightwatchman

On Beeing Reasonable

It’s no fun really.

Being a back bench MP,

Not much better being a Shadow Minister.

You spend the best years of your life waiting for something to turn up. That something being ‘Power’. In order to get ‘Power’ it becomes necessary to craft your life around a mythical entity which endlessly plays out a sort of fantasy around a gut theme of glory postponed.

Your default personality becomes at once enslaved to a grotesque caricature of a charming. sensible, feet on the ground sort of everyguy who is approachable but who gets things done. Who is there, even when he’s not, who is a doughty defender of the deserving constituents.

It is a fact of political life that the constituent always deserves better. One isn’t sure whether this is because of being a constituent per se or whether there is somewhere in the bowels of Westminster a very large moral balance sheet where deservedness is measured to be recorded and later rewarded.

If those records went missing on a computer stick or a bunch of discs, the moral compass of the nation could be thrown into doubt. Never mind identity theft, this could be really disastrous.

The MPs lot was neatly demonstrated through the pages of the Observer this weekend.

MP was invited to a Beekeeper’s Bash. It might have been the birthday of the association or a changing of the Guard at Sutton Beekeepers HQ or the QueenBee awards for 2007, No matter. He was there. And photo was taken. And quote provided.

There is, actually, a current problem with the Bees. They keep dying and the Beekeepers wish they wouldn’t. And it might well affect the planet though it probably won’t. It wasn’t absolutely clear why the MP for Sutton Coldfield was thought to be the man who could sort this out. His record of previous involvement in matters Bee is not unknown but certainly not vigorous.

Nevertheless, natural alliance emerges between distraught Society of Keepers of Bees and Approachable Shadow Minister. Society gets a piece in the paper, MP is seen to be Concerned. Statement is released saying ‘Government must do something’. Watch the Birdie, bish bash bosh. Next one please.

Which is a reasonable enough way to earn a living, I suppose. Beats work.

Except the ingrained culture of jumping through hoops like this surely get in the way of legislators paid handsomely to take society forward.

And while this Blog is not against the humble Bee (sic), this weekly pantomime of pretence and posturing and preening is at very least undignified.

And by threatening or diminishing the reputation of the elected MP, it surely demeans us the constituents.

We deserve better.


Nightwatchman

Where?

The delicious bit this week is the Birmingham Council.

Shining beacon of Tory admin skills. And the Lib Dems implicated too.

So sending out 720,000 leaflets about recycling has to be up there with the Chinese decision just to help the Games spectacle along with a couple of bits of judicious graphics.

We apparently didn’t have anybody to put their metaphorical foot on the ball and say:

“But these are going to have to be recycled”

This is because the corporate world and those who ape its conventions, are far too busy getting things done to figure out why they should be done, or when they might be done, or indeed if there is any point in them at all.

So ……..the apparatchiks are given task by well meaning Elected Councillors. There is probably a political point in here somewhere. David C, it is well known, is a Green in disguise. Very heavy disguise which isn’t very green. Star- struck petty foggers have light bulb go off in head. Recycling seen to be a very good thing.

Teams will have been set up. There will have been Powerpoint presentations lovingly created after hours then to be emailed to a large number of more important people, themselves convinced of the urgent need to gee up recycling in advance of even the Government catching on and demanding action. Phrases such as ‘Yes’ and ‘Please advise progress’ and ‘You will keep me in touch with this’ will have littered the Council Email system.

This will have given rise to a universal feeling of satisfaction. Well-being will have seeped under the massive doors of said Council House, past the security guards and down the steps past the Floozy.

Birmingham will at last be in front. Olympic analogies will have seen the blessed city ‘breasting the tape’ or ‘blasting down the home straight’, or even ‘pedaling to glory’. This is a heady brew indeed to inspire the hoi polloi.

And David C.

Not to mention the real people.

And then. Ah! And then.

There was a bit of a snafu.


Goodness knows how it happened. There are dark rumours that the final paper went off to Asia Minor on an outsource.


And they got the wrong photograph.


All that work, all that money, all those leaflets turned up with striking photo of Birmingham on the front.

Birmingham, Alabama.

So the next time the Birdie Mitchell does his tired riff about ‘incompetent government’, and ‘time for change’, and ‘couldn’t run a whelk stall’.

Remember Alabama and smile


Nightwatchman

Reasons to be cheerful

1 Mitchell is in Rwanda

2 They think Brown is in Southwold

3 There’s nobody in Birmingham

4 Everybody is on the M5.

5 Moving very slowly

6 Howard has taken over Mitchell’s modelling duties

7 Schoolchildren have been turned out of school to demonstrate their increased sense of community responsibility

8 Local graffiti shows noticeable Improvements in Gramer and Speling.

9 House prices are descending less quickly.

10 Stephen Byers has turned down the offer to become Milliband’s Chancellor.

11 Stephen Byers has turned down the offer to become Milliband’s Foreign Secretary.

12 Stephen Byers has announced he will not be challenging for Prime Minister.

13 Rob Pocock denies as speculative the story that thirty thousand Wheelie Bins are concealed in the same Council Warehouse as the Boldmere street furniture.

14 Birmingham Council have ordered local farmer to lift the Sutton Park cattle droppings in bio degradable plastic bags or face the consequences.

15 Rain is forecast to be less heavy during the latter part of August.

16 Sutton school denies refusing to pose with cardboard cut out of local MP.

17 Sutton Observer expressed delight at achieving the Guinness Book of Records award for publishing 2317 photos of local MP within twelve months. A spokesman said they were grateful for Mr Mitchell’s extraordinary popularity with their readers.

18 And it saved them having to write so much.

19 Walmley Cricket Club stated that the the erection of a multi-storey luxurious block of apartments at deep fine leg would have a minimal effect on the continuation of the national sport within the village.

20 Councillor Parkin is convinced the decision to move the polling station for Reddicap Heath residents would radically improve voter turn out. Mere Green Primary had always been the obvious choice. He thanked council officials for their determination to find the right solution.

21 Rob Pocock was unwilling to comment on the rumour that Labour would be bringing in a new candidate to fight the Four Oaks Ward at the next election.

22 Stephen Byers could not be reached before going to press.


Nightwatchman

Luck

There’s a guy called Wilson somewhere in the CLP. And he keeps winning the monthly draw. I’m not often lucky myself - I even performed the draw last month. There are around 50 tiny yellow balls with numbers on. Six of them are drawn every month – one big prize and five consolations. I was convinced they had lost my ball but it was there. And last month as a further demonstration of ‘bona fides’ I was asked to do the deed. Didn’t do any good. Mr Wilson came out of the bag again.

It’s dispiriting for a political party to be brought up against the vicissitudes of simple fortune. The world, for us pols, is capable of being sorted out. The bad guys are supposed to get theirs, the good guys should inherit the power to meet out justice and fairness all round the shop. That’s the point.

So we ought, in our hearts, to find it within ourselves to sympathise with poor old Gordon. He wanted to be Prime Minister from the age of fourteen. Clever man, prodigiously hard working, honest as the day is long, possessed of a mighty brain, articulate, well educated, comes from a good family. Maybe even a Good Family. He was a fundamental part of New Labour yet could credibly claim an Old Labour following as well. Waited patiently for his moment. Well, waited impatiently for his moment. Well, I supposed he simmered furiously for his moment while Tony ran the show.

His moment came.

And then his luck turned.

Some of this was self induced. Absolutely no doubt that mistakes were made. Gordon was unwise in places it would have been better not to have been unwise in.

But the real difference was fortune, or the lack of it. I am drifting unhappily to the conclusion that there are indeed ‘more things in heavan and earth….’ And possibly Hamlet was a bit misunderstood. Politicians, some politicians, are lucky. The list does not include Jim Callaghan, Edward Heath, Hugh Gaitskell, John Major and now….Gordon Brown.

It does include the dreadful Margaret Thatcher who, at the very nadir of her popularity, took us halfway across the world to fight for a barren lump of rock known as the Falklands. She won.

I’m afraid it does include Tony Blair, who turned his back on Europe at an absolutely pivotal moment in world history and plunged into two wars shoulder to shoulder with the limited Mr Bush. His very long goodbye coincided with the first stirrings of the worst economic depression the world has seen in seventy years.

Yes, politicians can make their own luck. Thatcher did win it in the South Atlantic, yes Tony did build New Labour into a formidable vote winning machine.

But noone could have avoided the credit crunch or the hike in oil prices, or the complications brought by the leap forward in Asia.

Where misfortune bites so painfully is in the treasured legacy. Tony and Margaret served up the shining illusion that little old UK were masters of our own fate. I’m afraid Gordon went along with it too. The electorate are not keen to hear the absolute truth here. But Tony and Margaret trotted off before reality kicked in.

So …. When the Sutton Coldfield EC reaches Treasurer’s Report and Mr Wilson’s yellow ball emerges once again from Johns little green bag, a small comfort might be derived from a mature reflection on our ability to shape the things completely beyond our control.

And make do with the bits we can affect.


Nightwatchman

Highs and Lows

The massed ranks of the CLP flocked to the Council House on Thursday for a rally. Posted as a debate between the wings – Progress versus Compass this was in reality an opportunity for a group caress. A chance to massage the raw edge of the enormous disappointment which is the G Brown administration.

So. We turned up, by all appearances, one of the better represented constituencies in the Region. We sat, quite by accident in the Council Chamber seats allocated to the Tory Party. This didn’t spoil our enjoyment of the evening. Just felt a little bit uncomfortable.

Steve Richards chaired the evening. Steve is a TV guy but we were determined not to hold this against him. He was certainly confident, fluent, articulate, media savvy. The Party is not as enthusiastic abut these skills as it used to be.

And the debate wasn’t bad. One side or the other, fielded Gisela Stuart and Liam Byrne, Minister for Immigration. They were both very good. We endured short apology from Sir Albert when he explained that the microphones weren’t working because the organisers forgot and the electrician had gone home.

Undaunted we flogged on. There was, as you might have imagined, a lot of agreement, it was all very civilised. The bigger names spoke very well, Byrne managed it without notes and took us effortlessly out of the humdrum into the opportunities presented by the emergence of the new economies. Hadn’t struck me but both Liam and Gisela are market people. And here we were in the midst of our travails getting to the very core of the Labour Party role.

Do we need to be players in International Commerce. Or can we insist on a morally secure position doing a lot of good to our own by concentrating on the sharing out function. It was noticeable that the Edgbaston Constituency were not lining up obediently behind Gisela – when we got to questions there were vigorous arguments from a couple of activists taking a contrary line.

Roy took the opportunity to berate the ministers on their insistence on digging their way into further trouble then expressed his blank astonishment that the Government, our government had somehow managed to get a state funeral for Thatcher on to the national agenda. This, of all the contributions seemed neatly to catch the mood of the meeting. There was a last an issue where we could safely unite – applause broke out and the subject offered subsequent safe ground to reach back into the party’s soul. We were at last agreed.

So. Surprisingly upbeat. We were still old campaigners, we were holed in various parts of the vessel, we were no longer as sprightly as once we were, we were/are still hideously white. But hey. Maybe it’s still in our hands. And it’s the summer, and the mistake quotient has to go down when they’re all on the beach.

So bloody cheer up.

I didn’t win the monthly draw on the way home. Conducted this time on the 8.05 to Four Oaks.

And then we lost Glasgow East.


Nightwatchman