Dear Gordon

Thanks very much for the email.

You and your people keep writing to me.

Its quite flattering really. I was unworthy, but perhaps I’m not after all.

And when the cleverest man in the kingdom takes the trouble to sit down and tell me what he’s doing, well it sort of brings a warm glow.

One does, rather guiltily, find oneself wondering however whether it’s an awfully good idea for you to be spending time on the likes of me, rather than, well…doing.

Here, forgive me Gordon, here we have a very very intellectual man. You are known as a triple alpha achiever. A man who considers carefully and rejects a host of ideas beyond the farthest reaches of our imagination before selecting the policies to adopt. We see a trained mind totally comfortable with forensic analysis of what to do, consequences, balance of advantage, assessing shades of grey in every action.

But your image is a blundering obsessive reeling from disaster to catastrophe bullying the electorate with ever more lists of statistics they’ve all heard before.

You’re better than that, Gordon.

Perhaps you should start acting the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister does not ‘fight back’. The Prime Minister does not get into the gutter and slug it out with the hoi polloi. The Prime Minister employs his God given talents to avoid, above all things, being compared unfavourably with lesser beings.

And if he gets distracted or if the dancing matador occasionally scatches a hit, so what? The little people will be always be impressed more by achievement than by bullshit. Count the number of competent governments who have been removed by virtue of any combination of cheap stunts and stand up routines.

Not many. Governments are like fish, they decay from the head down. Governments lose elections. Governments.

So here’s the deal old son. I don’t need to hear from you.

But please, please do something about the policies. There is a fault line running through the core of your stuff which gives succour to your enemies and drives your friends to despair.

New Labour has for ten years, run an essential deceit on taxes and enterprise and welfare and keeping the Daily Mail onside.

The merry prank was funded by benign economic conditions and a light rein on the City of London. And it worked.

Its over now. We now need a more steely resolve to see us through. We need ‘fair’, we need ‘seen to be fair’, we need complete confidence in your ability to unite the people to get through this.

So forget ambitious legislative programme, forget apologetic chats round TV studios.

Think fair, think how bad 42 days without charge looks, think about BA corruption.

Act the Prime Minister.

Properly.

The rest will take care of itself.


Kind Regards


Nightwatchman