Lets talk about leaflets.
Conservatives are doing leaflets.
They are, you might have guessed,. expensive. There are a lot of pictures, and its bland.
No, its not bland.
Its irredeemiably dull, its toe curlingly, balls achingly, sick makingly, desperately uninteresting.
This really has to find a home within a collection of current artefacts setting out exactly how politics were conducted in Sutton Coldfield in the early 21st Century.
Someone,-the publishers name is Rhoda Gilbert,- someone has listed words best able to inspire the electorate then smashed them together, then spread them carefully and evenly through the text, then popped irrelevant pics at random intervals. Fonts are sometimes blue and sometimes black. And amazingly, they’ve mislaid City Boy’s snaps.
So we have “delighted, vital, warmly welcomes, pleased, great news, hugely successful, much needed, extremely pleased, particularly pleased, great news, great success, applauded.” And all at carefully calibrated intervals throughout the text.
This is happyland. It is an uninterrupted hymn to the joys of living under the loving protection of Conservative Councillors in Sumptuous Sutton.
Are they mad?
Who is this for?
Or is it me. Perhaps the sight of Councillor Pears in gardening trousers wrapping his tonsils round ‘This is great news for Trinity’ or a slightly pink Councillor Mrs Waddington aggressively positioned before a field, does it for the silent majority of Sutton Coldfield.
I’m afraid there are darker reasons. This demonstrates, encapsulates the awful truth of such politicians. This is not meant to be read. It’s not for the electorate. Its for themselves. It is the modern equivalent of whistling to keep the spirits up.
The fact that it means nothing is depressing enough. The ultimate choker is that this garbage is pumped out precisely at that point in Sutton Coldfield’s history when a lead, any lead is desperately needed to point the way forward.
The Town is dying on its feet. Its leaders are posing in the political equivalent of Zoo magazine.
You get in the boat, I’m looking for a lifejacket.
Nightwatchman
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