How did it get to be March?

Giving us approximately six weeks to local elections. A miserly six weeks left to expose the disgraceful performance of our local leaders.

We have, however, a feast of possibilities to woo an uncertain electorate. That much is true. The feast, I mean, not the electorate. Which is always certain. Wildly, depressingly, wrongheadedly, implacably certain.

We could speculate endlessly on the reasons why. One shrinks from the more obvious explanations that they are all as thick as a plank or that there is some as yet undefined virus which sweeps the town every year around the equinox and insists that all living beings get themselves down to the polling station and puts their cross against the blue candidate.

These are normally quite sensible people. A small minority beat their wives, drink too much on a Friday night or put a few sovs on the favourite for the Champion Hurdle. A few of them support the Blues. But by and large, they lead incredibly useful lives working at quite well paid jobs, bringing up respectable families.

And then madness overtakes. We are talking her about honest burgers. Solid stock derived in part from eternal Saxon Values. Work hard, look after the family; do not accept anything less than your due from anyone – civil servant, stroppy motorist, officious traffic warden – the principle of centuries of self reliance hold sway. The Britisher is subject to no man.

May comes round and off they go to the polling station………….

The recipients of the vote are a grey bunch indeed. The Tories of Sutton Coldfield have become a byword in political circles for crafting a perfect record of unblemished success since Noah first took his designs down the dockside. It wasn’t even a dockside in those days, it was up the mountain. The Tories have produced candidate after candidate, winner after winner on an unparalleled record of labouring in vain. I hesitate to call it labouring but it is certainly in vain.

They have produced a mountain of inactivity. There is nothing to show, the ledger is bare. There is not even much on the debit side. They spent a lot on a Town Hall clock and they got off their bottoms and voting us into Birmingham, but that’s about it.

So their success in undoubtedly due to the virus. Epedimius Toryatis. It is essential that we direct all our energies to stamping this out. We don’t have long.

Alternatively, we could treat the more obvious symptom. Rob is already knocking on doors, delivering leaflets, addressing meetings, writing the letters, motivating, inspiring, cajoling.

Howard and his Tories are busy doing absolutely nothing.

………………………….Just a minute!


Nightwatchman