Busy doing nothing

Nightwatchman has seen it.

The draft manifesto of the local Tories for the May local elections.

Its that time again. Councillors spend most of the year hard working on your behalf. But for a month or so in the Spring they devote themselves to writing the inspiring words capable of delivering the floating vote yet again.

And this year they have outdone themselves. The restless ferment of intellectual energy at the beating heart of Trinity Conservatives – we are talking the Parkin Waddington axis here – has poked and prodded and finally produced the words and the idea for 2008.

Its glorious.

The Tories are to play the free enterprise card.

This means getting out of the way This means having the confidence to believe. This means finding within themselves the energy to fight for the cause.

The secret is to do nothing. The magic lies in making this the centre of the campaign.

And the whole thing falls into place.

Brassington Avenue – do nothing. Let them build a fence.

Anchor Crossroads – do nothing. But concede a review.

Mere Green – do nothing. Private enterprise will eventually produce the optimum result.

Town Centre – the biggest coup of all. Move to one side, insert an expensive consultancy; ask the townspeople for their own ideas and wait. Essential to avoid action.

And finally there’s the Swimming Baths. Yet another fence, two in fact. Another triumph of constructive inactivity.

We have to get used to the idea that this is a masterstroke. This threatens to sweep the board.
Except, and this is where things get confusin’

There are normally two things you can guarantee with Tories.

They will underperform.

It will be a triumph.

So did it all go wrong earlier in the year?

They rebuilt the Town Hall Clock.

Nobody wanted it. But it got finished.

What was that about?


Nightwatchman